I’ve been trying to not blurt out responses in my daily life, but instead take a pause and answer like a normal person. It is not as easy at it may seem.

Q: How’s it Going?

Marni’s World: Well, I had a vegetable juice for lunch, so at first I was feeling really healthy and at one with the universe, but now I’m feeling irritable and I just want to slap everyone see in the face. Not a hard slap, per se, but just a good whack. Oh and I keep dreaming about buffalo wings. Is that normal? What IS normal? What is the meaning of life? Will I ever be able to pull off a maxi skirt? Will J.K. Rowling’s new book be any good?  These are the things that keep me up at night. You?

Real World: Fine, thanks for asking, how about yourself?

——-

Q: I like your necklace, where is it from?

Marni’s World: Thank you! I like how there are animals AND  flowers AND beads, it’s like pick one! But no, don’t, haha, PUT ALL OF THE THINGS ON!!  Like, this thing over here is a hammerhead shark and this thing is some sort of bear-zebra hybrid…I think it’s all about evolution. Anyway, I was really feeling like Miss Frizzle today and just ran with it.

Real World: Thank you very much. It is from Alice + Olivia.

———

Q: Can I try a bite of that?

Marni’s World: NO. This brownie is the only thing keeping me  going today and if you take it away, there’s a good chance I’ll just snap. Like, I’ll tear off all my clothes, turn this table over and run screaming from the room. Seriously, if you even try to get near this, I swear to god, I will bite your hand. With my teeth.

Real World: Of course, help yourself.

———
Q: Have you heard that Call Me Maybe song?

Marni’s World: Um, DUH! I live, breathe, eat and am Call Me Maybe. I can’t even tell someone to simply “call me” anymore, I just add “Maybe?!” on the end and crack myself up. every.single.time. I was thinking of seeing if I could talk to a medical professional or something because I think I have an addiction.

Real World: Once or twice, it’s pretty catchy, huh?