Marni’s World:

Things I enjoy about going to the gym:

-Wearing an outfit with elastic waist pants without shame
-Looking like an active young adult
-Saying “Oh, I can’t, I have to go the gym!” instead of “I’d rather be dead!”
-Feeling superior to people who are not going to the gym
-Wearing sneakers with socks poking out while still being socially acceptable
-Being able to tell people I went to the gym
-Listening to Nicki Minaj without shame
-Having a delicious kale apple juice afterwards
-Taking a shower after and feeling like I really, truly deserve those extra ten minutes of just standing under the water
-Being able to go to sleep at 10:30 because, you guys, I worked out today, I’m so tireddddd
-Feeling sore the next day and get to think “God, I am SO fit” every time I sneeze and my stomach muscles still kind of hurt.

Real World:

I like everything except the actual, you know, working out part. That could be the problem.