I am under water and it is cold. Very cold. Beyond-the-Wall cold. Polar bear plunge cold. No seriously, is this water directly imported from the Arctic Circle? That is the only explanation for how cold this water is, it’s just inhumane!
Okay, well now it’s not that bad. Kind of nice and refreshing. Oh, just got a little warmer, how perfect. One might even say it’s tropical!
Just a bit warmer and now it is—- SCALDING HOT. Dear god, why? It burns, it burns! Am I in hell? What is happening?! This is the kind of water that only those weird tulip worm things that live near volcanic vents can deal with and I am not one of those worms! I am a human being and I am being boiled alive!!
Ow ow ow, okay, it’s a bit better, a bit more manageable, a bit cooler…
Oh, no, no, no, no, it is freezing cold again. WHAT IS HAPPENING?
Just showering in Manhattan. It’s quite an adventure.