Marni’s World:

Guys! I bought vitamins today!

Yep, a whole big jar packed full of vitamins A, B, D, E, Zinc, Folic Acid, and other healthy junk!

This is just the start of my new healthy life style. I’m going to start taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and saying “no” to carbohydrates. I’ll run to work, only have wine on the weekends, and I’ll do yoga. Tons and tons of yoga. Yoga at my desk and yoga on the subway and yoga in cabs! I’ll drink 8 glasses of water a day, wear SPF 60 and will think nothing but positive thoughts. Maybe I’ll go vegetarian, or vegan or gluten free.. or just like subsist on big gusts of wind and sunlight.

God, I’m going to be so freaking healthy.

Real World:

They were gummy bear vitamins. I don’t stand a chance… Somebody go get me some pizza, I’m not getting up.