When justice is not carried out to its full extent, sometimes concerned citizens must to take the law into our own hands. The NYPD is a hard working bunch, but they cannot be everywhere, all the time. So hey, I’m happy to lend a helping hand. Today’s citizens arrest is…..
Motorcyclists without Mufflers: Dude, you are on a motorized bicycle for crying out loud, why the hell are you making more noise than an 18 wheeler? WHY? It defies science. A Prius is easily three times as big as you, yet silent as a panther. Why can’t you be more panther-esque in your transportation? Being a panther is cool. Making a ton of noise for no reason is for toddlers. Which would you rather be?
Seriously dudes, when you do your “vroom vroom vroom” through the streets at 2 am you are disturbing the sleep of thousands of New Yorkers who must go to work the next morning as the backbone of this nation’s economy. You are ruining the economy.
You are CITIZENS ARRESTED.
Punishment: Three weeks of listening to dub step non stop in order to fully understand why noise pollution is bad.
If I had enough upper body strength to actually subdue and handcuff someone, I would definitely become a vigilante. Maybe I should invest in some resistance bands or something….