Where does this vast, rich randomness come from? Did your younger brothers ever inspire you to have such creative thinking?
I suppose when one’s younger brothers enjoyed stealing one’s stuffed animals, putting ice cube in one’s bed, terrorizing one and one’s friend into learning state capitals under duress caused by fear of being jabbed in the ribs, and so forth, one must retreat into an inner world in order to cope with the stress of every day life.
Dearly Beloved. We are gathered here today to honor and commemorate the passing of a dear friend who lived an amazing life even though it was rather short. Oh Weekend, we shall miss thee. You inspired us to sleep in, to have slow, decadent breakfasts, to bask in the sun and enjoy every moment. We will mourn you, dear Weekend. We will grieve for you. I think I speak for us all when I say that there will be a little less light in the world now that you have passed. You are gone, but certainly, oh certainly, not forgotten.
-I am so so sleepy. I need another three hours of sleep, but because I can’t have that, I will have an ice coffee. Just a small one. - You know what, pal? What do you say we make it a large? Yeah,why not? It’s a Friday, there are no rules today. -Take a sip and already feel the liquid sunshine coming through my veins. Oh hello morning, you don’t seem to be half the horrible bitch I thought you were. You’re actually…not that bad. -Well, heck, Morning, you are just A.OK in my book! -A few more inches later, my hands are shaking, but that’s fine, it’s barely noticeable, right? -Oops, there goes my foot, just tapping all on its own. Hey little guy, slow down. No? Okay, that’s fine too because now the whole leg is going. -Woo, it’s like we’re in a car going over a gravel road, but I’m just at my desk. Trippy. -Let’s put on some music and type like it’s a Mavis Beacon speed typing test. -La la la, space bar space bar, la la la la la -At the bottom now where it’s pretty much just melty coffee flavored ice. Have conflicting desires to run laps around the office and finish dregs of melty ice. -Last sip. Now desire to do any activity is waning. -Need to pee -My stomach seems full of coffee acid. Ow. -Need to pee again -I can feel the acid slooshing around my belly. What was I thinking? -Whhhy did I get a large? -WHY? -Hmmm, feel fine again now. Almost, sleepy -Now extremely tired. Hmmm, nap time? -Actually, maybe will get another ice coffee. Just a small one.
Thank you very much for the new outfits this week.
Thank you for the Miu Miu on Monday and the Tibi on Tuesday. The Wang on Wednesday was a great mid week treat and the Thakoon Thursday was even better. Finally, the Fendi Friday made me believe in magic and instilled in me the importance of a good alliteration.
I hope you will visit again soon as I have been a very, very good girl this year.
P.S. I hope you like the madelines I left out for you!
Nothing to wear. Where are you closet fairy? Make me believe!
This is the story of a sweet bright little girl named Marni, who is a child of wondrous intelligence. But unfortunately she is different from the rest of her family. Marni escapes into a world of reading, exercising her mind so much she develops telekinetic powers. Including a very special talent that allows the spirited girl to turn the tables on the wicked grown-ups in her world.
Oh what a healthy and low calorie dinner I just consumed! Smaller portions are filling and you really need to eat much less than one thinks. Hmm, I feel so superior to those fools buying McDonald’s across the street. I am satisfied but not stuffed, I win.
20 minutes later:
Holy bologna, I am starving. I could lit-rally eat my own hand right now. I would do unspeakable things for some nuggets. Must.eat.second.dinner.
Good afternoon, listeners. This is MWRadio, It’s 12:17 on this scorching Wednesday but we’ve got some refreshing jams to cool you down today. This first song goes out to a very special large ice coffee with love from Marni.
If I wasn’t in public, I would sing this song to my still half-full cup. Thank you, 48th Street Coffee Cart! I love you.
Claire: OMG, get the lobster club sandwich Marni: You can’t even eat that, poor allergic Claire Claire: But it sounds so wonderful! Marni: You should eat one and just have an epi-pen ready Claire: Just go sit outside the ER with my epi-pen and eat a seafood buffet? Marni: I can intubate you if need be, I saw how on Gray’s Anatomy Claire: Oh wow that sounds safe and like a great idea
I watched Season 1 of Gray’s Anatomy like 100 years ago….so, that’s Dr. Marni’s World to you.
“Deprived of playmates, slung between a neurotic and an iceberg, Amélie retreats into her imagination. In this world, LPs are made like pancakes. The neighbor’s comatose wife has chosen to get all her life’s sleep in one go.”—Amelie (my kindred spirit)
I noticed recently that you have not yet paid your class dues for the upcoming year. I hope you won’t let the year go by without receiving the wonderful tangible and intangible rewards that come with being an active member of our Cornell Class of 2009.
If you have any questions or concerns, we would love to hear from you.
Sincerely, Cornell University
Dear Cornell University,
Oh no! How silly of me! Did you not receive my last four years of tuition (including additional lab fees)?
Also, could you please provide additional clarification on these “tangible and intangible rewards”? Would they include a) an elephant I could ride to work? b) a state of complete zen bliss or c)a calorie-free cheeto? If not, I am just not interested.