June 2011
43 posts
Anonymous asked: Where does this vast, rich randomness come from? Did your younger brothers ever inspire you to have such creative thinking?
“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has to...”
– Oscar Wilde, on his death bed.
Good Day Sunshine
Marni’s World: This morning I was gently awoken by the rosy light of the rising sun and the sweet song of birds. “Chirp chirp,” chirped Charlotte the finch, “I brought you a cafe au lait!” “And I brought the brioche!” added her brother, Charles. “Merci beaucoup, my little chickadees” I said, gently lifting myself up onto the lace pillows and...
Slow
Marni’s World:
Snails Three toed sloths Barnacles Dinosaurs turning into coal Coal turning diamonds Glaciers Tectonic Plates
Real World:
Things that move faster than this Walgreens line
Dana & the Jets
Dana: I will get my personal jet ready Marni: Why do you never take me anywhere in your personal jet? Dana: Well… first of all, it is a SECRET jet. But most importantly, it is MAKE BELIEVE.
Beloved
Marni’s World:
Dearly Beloved. We are gathered here today to honor and commemorate the passing of a dear friend who lived an amazing life even though it was rather short. Oh Weekend, we shall miss thee. You inspired us to sleep in, to have slow, decadent breakfasts, to bask in the sun and enjoy every moment. We will mourn you, dear Weekend. We will grieve for you. I think I speak for us...
Mouse a Cookie
Real World: -I am so so sleepy. I need another three hours of sleep, but because I can’t have that, I will have an ice coffee. Just a small one. - You know what, pal? What do you say we make it a large? Yeah,why not? It’s a Friday, there are no rules today. -Take a sip and already feel the liquid sunshine coming through my veins. Oh hello morning, you don’t seem to be half the...
Fendi Friday
Marni’s World:
Dear Closet Fairy, Thank you very much for the new outfits this week. Thank you for the Miu Miu on Monday and the Tibi on Tuesday. The Wang on Wednesday was a great mid week treat and the Thakoon Thursday was even better. Finally, the Fendi Friday made me believe in magic and instilled in me the importance of a good alliteration. I hope you will visit again soon as I have...
“Tut-tut, it looks like rain.”
– Pooh Bear
As In
Marni’s World:
M as in Marshmallow A as in Apple R as in Rainbow N as in Norway I as in Ice Cream
Real World:
Just a sampling of the stupid things I say when trying to spell things over the phone. Today I even did an “L” as in “Llama”, you know, cause it has two Ls.
Liquids
Real World:
So far, the only kind of glasses we have are wine glasses, coffee mugs and two beer steins.
Marni’s World:
Guess were only having wine, coffee and beer!
Kindred Spirit
Marni’s World:
From the back of my new biography, Marni.
This is the story of a sweet bright little girl named Marni, who is a child of wondrous intelligence. But unfortunately she is different from the rest of her family. Marni escapes into a world of reading, exercising her mind so much she develops telekinetic powers. Including a very special talent that allows the spirited girl to...
jamesydesign:
If this doesn’t make you dance...
Jazzy Wednesday
Some toe tappers to get you dancing over the hump.
Tolstoy in the Trees
Marni: What are my strong points? Pal: reading Pal: sleeping Pal:: socializing Marni: I would be a terrific sloth Marni: A sloth with a book club Marni: We could read War & Sleep
Merci!
Real World: Merci Marni, Je vous félicite pour votre français qui est parfaitement écrit… Et merci encore pour votre confiance. Bien Cordialement. Christophe Marni’s World:
Oh. Mon. Dieu.
Did an actual French person just compliment me on my perfectly written French? In a not sarcastic way? Somewhere deep in New Jersey, my old French teacher is getting tingles in her spine.
I...
Oh no
Real World:
“Ohhhhnooo, ladyfriend, you look sooo skinny, seriously, like an Olsen Skeletwin.” “Oooohnnooo, ladypal, you can totally pull that outfit off, you don’t look like a baby prostitute clown at all.” “Ooohnoo, ladykins, he will definitely call you. He probably just fell into a ditch and broke all of his fingers. I’m so sure of it.”...
Flag Day
Marni’s World:
I lead my pigeon to the flag And to the re-Publix sandwich stands Won nation invisible With liberty and juice snacks for fall.
Real World: NPR on children’s understanding of the Pledge of Allegiance.
Listen here.
Marni Without Borders
Marni’s World: Passport? Check Immunizations? Check Including Tetanus Shot? Check Local Currency? Check Traveler’s Checks? Check World Cell Phone? Check Fanny Pack? Check Hipster-English Dictionary? Check Real World: Off to Brooklyn.
Shoes
Marni’s World:
These heels are so fierce. The taller my heels, the better this outfit will be. I am practically a six foot tall Amazonian princess.
You can barely handle this swagger.
Real World:
5 minutes later….
Holy buckets, I hate myself. Walking down these subway steps is impossible. Ow ow ow. Will someone please find me an adult size stroller? Or carry me around a la Lady...
“Jenna: “That guy was going to buy you a drink.”
Liz Lemon:...”
– 30 Rock
Bite
Marni’s World: Oh what a healthy and low calorie dinner I just consumed! Smaller portions are filling and you really need to eat much less than one thinks. Hmm, I feel so superior to those fools buying McDonald’s across the street. I am satisfied but not stuffed, I win. Real World: 20 minutes later:
Holy bologna, I am starving. I could lit-rally eat my own hand right now. I would do...
Punctuality
Marni’s World:
Being on time shows other people that you respect them and the value of their time. It is good form at its simplest and others will greatly appreciate a punctilious lady’s efforts.
Real World:
Being on time is rewarded with 10-25 minutes of awkward waiting, watch checking and general loitering. It is often accompanied by feelings of frustration, abandonment and boredom.
Icy Hot
Marni’s World:
Good afternoon, listeners. This is MWRadio, It’s 12:17 on this scorching Wednesday but we’ve got some refreshing jams to cool you down today. This first song goes out to a very special large ice coffee with love from Marni.
Real World:
If I wasn’t in public, I would sing this song to my still half-full cup. Thank you, 48th Street Coffee Cart! I love...
Medical Advice
Real World:
Claire: OMG, get the lobster club sandwich Marni: You can’t even eat that, poor allergic Claire Claire: But it sounds so wonderful! Marni: You should eat one and just have an epi-pen ready Claire: Just go sit outside the ER with my epi-pen and eat a seafood buffet? Marni: I can intubate you if need be, I saw how on Gray’s Anatomy Claire: Oh wow that sounds safe and like a...
Oh every other day
Marni’s World:
C’était l’heure où l’essaim des rêves malfaisants Tord sur leurs oreillers les bruns adolescents. -Charles Baudelaire
[Translation: It is the hour when the swarm of malevolent dreams Makes sun-browned adolescents writhe upon their pillows.]
Real World:
Monday morning.
“Deprived of playmates, slung between a neurotic and an iceberg, Amélie retreats...”
– Amelie (my kindred spirit)
Dues
Real World: Dear Marni, I noticed recently that you have not yet paid your class dues for the upcoming year. I hope you won’t let the year go by without receiving the wonderful tangible and intangible rewards that come with being an active member of our Cornell Class of 2009. If you have any questions or concerns, we would love to hear from you. Sincerely, Cornell University Marni’s...
