March 2011
27 posts
Reality
Marni’s World:
It’s Friday! Hooray!
Real World:
It is Monday. Boo.
We All Scream
Marni’s World:
Outdoor ice cream party! How delightful!
Real World:
Crazy woman wearing headphones eating a gallon of ice cream on the corner. There is such a difference in my comfort level when someone upgrades from cone to gallon.
Rain
Marni’s World:
Today it rained sour patch kids, jelly bellies and milky ways. We all danced in the candy downpour and twirled our brightly colored umbrellas. Then the sun came out and a skittles rainbow appeared over the sky.
Real World:
35 degrees and raining. Gross. Eating candy to make up for the gloom.
ANTM
Marni’s World:
I know I can successfully:
-Put on an outfit from a limited clothing supply that will be deemed acceptable by society
-Find places on a map, and with a taxi, get to them on time
-Memorize four sentences and repeat them from memory
-Memorize four sentences and repeat them from memory in another language
-Talk normally to another human being at a party
I could totally...
Sit In
Marni’s World:
Spotted an act of civil disobedience occurring on 55th street early this morning. The subject valiantly and peacefully took a stand (or rather a sit) against the degradation of his people.
Real World:
Saw a bulldog wearing a hot pink raincoat lie down on the sidewalk and refuse to budge an inch, despite the pleas of his owner. You know he was thinking “You...
Lou
Just a perfect day, drink Sangria in the park, And then later, when it gets dark, we go home. Just a perfect day, Feed animals in the zoo Then later, a movie, too, And then home. Oh it’s such a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you.
Tunes for a Sunny Friday
Green
Marni’s World:
Oh my stars! There are delightful little leprechauns prancing up and down 3rd Avenue at this very instant!
Real World:
Drunk frat boys wearing green. Highly doubt any of them are hiding a pot of gold in their beer bellies.
The downfall of being handsome
Rufus, the bear cub with alcoholic tendancies had a crazy evening with Kate Moss. All the same, this is not even close to what happened with him and Adriana Lima!
Ra Ra Fashion Baby
Marni’s World:
Here at Paris Fashion Week, the crowds are going simply wild for the designers new trends; comfort, elastic wasitbands and bedhead.
“C’est si chic,” said Karl Lagerfeld, “It’s like oh I just woke up looking hungry for a breakfast I can never eat.”
“For me, it was all about the hair. How each section made its own shape, with the one...
Public Transport
Marni’s World:
Riding the subway home at 11:30. Would love to imagine that: A) large gentleman next to me did not sit down and make this 3 seater a very very tight 4 seater B) the drunk girl across from me had her legs closed C) that man was not eating taco bell in an enclosed space D) there was no ambiguous liquid on the floor E) the tranny on my right didn’t keep holding the doors...
Anonymous asked: What will the Hamentaschen be doing for Purim in Marni's world?
Four Eyes
Marni’s World:
“I’ll take “Things That Are Not Bears” for $2000, Alex.”
“This fluffy marsupial enjoys eating eucalyptus, snoozing and the occasional Foster’s.”
I press the buzzer, “What is a Koala?”
“That’s correct, Marni! You have just beaten Waston as the Jeopardy champion! What are you going to do with all these...
Outside of Manhattan is International
Adelaide’s World:
Can you come visit Red Hook someday? It will be fun because it will be like you’re traveling to another country (aka the eastern bloc.) You can even do a Marni’s World post where you pretend that the F train is a Ryan Air flight…and the homeless people are really just flight attendents harassing you to buy alcohol and neck pillows….
Marni’s...
Friday
Real World:
Am laying in bed contemplating the evening’s activities or lack therof.
Marni’s World:
Humphrey the Bunny hops in to the room. “Good evening, Princess Marni!”
“Oh hello, Humprhey,” I say as I look through my stack of jewel encrusted invitations. “How do we feel about skipping that Miu Miu party and going to the Metropolitan gala...
Young Folks
Marni’s World:
Fun fact: I did all the whistling in this song. I can also be heard whistling in Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zero’s “Home” and humming in “Little Bitty Pretty One.” The music industry refers to me as The Whistling Babe.
Real World:
I cannot whistle. But I can go outside and enjoy the sunshine.
Favorite Things
Marni’s World:
White fluffy blanket and white puffy pillows Teddy bear named Jamal and a sheet that billows Making a cocoon and being the blanket tent king These are a few of my favorite things Watching Hulu while staying quite cozy Don’t mind if I feel a bit a dozy Staying here till winter turns to spring These are a few of my favorite things When it’s cold out When...
Anonymous asked: How do you keep coming up with such hilarious material! The Eiffel Tower video is a hoot and it doesn't get much cuter than oscar. What do you think about love?
Blub Blub
Marni’s World:
I am Ariel, the littlest, prettiest mermaid. When I sing, all of Atlantis stops and sighs. Sure, I brush my hair with a fork, and maybe I have slight hoarder tendencies, but just listen!
“La la la, la la la, la la la!”
Did you see that golden ball of light? Because that was my voice. Yes, it is actually golden.
Real World:
Just singing in the shower.
