Yep, a whole big jar packed full of vitamins A, B, D, E, Zinc, Folic Acid, and other healthy junk!
This is just the start of my new healthy life style. I’m going to start taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and saying “no” to carbohydrates. I’ll run to work, only have wine on the weekends, and I’ll do yoga. Tons and tons of yoga. Yoga at my desk and yoga on the subway and yoga in cabs! I’ll drink 8 glasses of water a day, wear SPF 60 and will think nothing but positive thoughts. Maybe I’ll go vegetarian, or vegan or gluten free.. or just like subsist on big gusts of wind and sunlight.
God, I’m going to be so freaking healthy.
They were gummy bear vitamins. I don’t stand a chance… Somebody go get me some pizza, I’m not getting up.
Marni: I saw the Muppets yesterday Christina: OMG what? Christina: Where? Marni: …like the movie Marni: Not in real life! I didn’t bump into Miss Piggy in the elevator.. If I did, that probably means I had a small stroke Marni: You’ll never guess who I ran into at Starbucks! Fozzie Bear. Yep, he was ordering a frappucinno.
As it looks like the entire earth will soon be underwater in the nuclear summer of the future, I have created a handy Be Your Own Noah Checklist so that you and yours will be safe and happy come flood time.
1. Build an ark yacht
2. Fill the yacht with two of the following creatures: -Labradoodles -Koala Bears -Pigs -Chickens -George Clooneys (remember, if you ever find dry land, you will be creating the world anew and will need things that are adorable, things you can eat and some one with whom to recreate the human race)
3. Stock the yacht with the following supplies: -Fresh drinking water (preferably sparkling, just because the world is ending doesn’t mean we have to behave like animals) -Little Debbie Snacks, Cheetos and other non perishable food stuffs -Wines (both red and white) -Sunscreen -Tabloids -The complete Harry Potter series (both book and movie)
4. Learn how to swim, snorkle and big game fish
5. Learn how to prepare lobster, seabass, oysters, shrimp and octopus by enrolling in CIA classes today
6. Choose your yacht buddies. Choose them wisely. That guy who always puts on Third Eye Blind at parties? He can’t come.
7. Pack your clothes as follows: -Bathing suits -Muumuus -Sunglasses -Floppy Hats (It will be about 100 degrees every day and everyone you know is dead. You no longer have to wear pants)
8.Create a playlist for your journey and be sure to charge your iPod, people!
Well, that’s it. Good luck and godspeed everyone.
It is November 28th and it is 60 degrees. I am very concerned.
Many, many years ago, in a land far away, there lived a group of people who were a bit odd. These people preferred synthetic orange cheese to the real thing, they liked their pants to have elastic waistbands and agreed amongst themselves that sneakers were the best footwear for any occasion. These people were loud, they were large, and they felt a bit out of place in their own country. So they took matters into their own hands and arranged a huge booze cruise across the sea. They drank and sang songs till they threw up, and then they’d do it again the next day. Finally after many days of boozin’ and cruisin’, they landed on a rock. It wasn’t a very beautiful rock, or a very big rock, but for some reason it felt right. So, they decided to stay for a while. There was only one problem; they didn’t have anything to eat. Luckily, some locals stopped by and said “Hey guys, we like your style, those buckles on your shoes are really boss. Wanna do dinski?” The people accepted with great gusto and before long, they were feasting together under the setting sun in a celebration of adventure and harvest, and became the best of friends…for a while anyway.
..So that may not be exactly what happened, but who cares? Happy Turkey Day, ya’ll! .
Lindsay: Especially now that I’m in legal profession and this professor’s telling me I can’t borrow money from clients or sleep with them..like whats the point of being a lawyer? Marni: That’s not what I saw on Ally McBeal Lindsay: OR the good wife Lindsay: So like, I was really mislead into the legal profession Marni: Sort of like me and fashion where I thought I’d magically lose 15lbs and get free clothes on the regular and most of what I would do would be to stand next to a mannequin and put a bow on it and go “voila!”, and drink champagne Marni: Instead I was sweating balls in Chinatown as I lugged samples from one rat infested show room to another for like 5 bucks a day whilst getting called fat. Marni: Our TV show lives would be so much better…like right now we’d be having this conversation in person, during a “lunch break” as we sported head to toe Chanel and sipped cappuccinos
I have been reading the Game of Thrones books and I really like how all the houses have mottoes like “Winter is Coming” or “Unbent, Unbowed, Unbroken.” I have decided to come up with a few ideas for mottoes for the illustrious house of Marni’s World.
-Spice Up Your Life -Livin’ La Vida Loca -Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls -C’est la Vie -Whoomp! There It Is.
I think the list is coming along quite nicely really. Now I just need a spirit animal…
I have been reading too much fantasy literature and listening to too much 90’s pop…I should probably see a doctor.
Dana:Hagrid is looking a little small in that photo Marni: yeah…he is Marni: he had to fit Dana: I understand Dana: Same thing happened to me, I had to ask him to crouch down real low so my mom could get the shot